Don't Worry Alone

Jan 27, 2023
A picture of a llama that doesn't worry alone.

I sometimes notice my clients living in a future state of worry. Worry isn’t usually about what’s happening right now. It’s about what could happen in the future. It’s easy to give away your peace to some possible future where things don’t turn out well. However, notice that you can plan and prepare and be ready for an emergency without giving away your peace of mind.

One academic definition of worry is:

“a negative chain of cognitions that represents an attempt at mental problem solving of an issue, whose outcome is unknown and (thus) has the possibility of being negative.”

That’s a fancy way of saying that when you worry, you are trying to solve a problem that hasn’t happened yet, with an outcome that isn’t knowable and isn’t necessarily within your control. Sound familiar?

I recently heard the phrase, “Don’t worry alone,” and I love this advice. When you worry alone, you can suffer. So, what to do the next time you find yourself worrying? First, breathe. See if you can check in with yourself and notice that, in this present moment, all is well. Second, phone a friend or a coach and share your worry. See if talking to someone else can help you reframe your perspective on the situation. Third, give yourself a rule. The next time you find yourself in a state of worry, remind yourself, “I don’t worry alone.” Save that sense of worry for a time when you can talk it through with someone else.


Decide what you’ll do the next time you notice yourself in a state of worry, and give one of these tips a try!